


Being Yourself (in a world where you aren't)

by et_cetera



Category: Heart no Kuni no Alice | Alice in the Country of Hearts
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Multiple Universes, Vaguely Nightmare/Gray, if you read into it a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 04:56:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3196106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/et_cetera/pseuds/et_cetera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s a dream demon. Or, rather. <i>The</i> dream demon. Thought-reader, Dream-walker, Wind-master. A regular <i>nightmare</i>. </p><p>On Nightmare's ability to exist separately in multiple parallel universes at the same time. Also touching on the way Wonderland works in general and how that might interact with aforementioned ability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Yourself (in a world where you aren't)

He’s a dream demon. Or, rather. _The_ dream demon. Thought-reader, Dream-walker, Wind-master. A regular _nightmare_. Many think they understand what that means, and yet… only one knows. ( _too bad that he dislikes the clown, or they could have shared this burden. Or perhaps that’s why Nightmare dislikes Joker, his reflection mirrored and mirrored until it twists and warps into eternity_ )

He’s not confined, as others are, to one land. The wrench of a Move is barely felt as he touches infinity and leaves his body behind ( _frailty thy name is corporeality_ ). He returns, of course, for the people who live in Clover Tower. ( _he understands replaceable. oh, but he doesn’t believe it, he’s seen so many Lizards and yet none of them **his**_ )

But even so, even with this leash ( _or chain?_ ) holding him back he must escape the fragile confines of flesh eventually. Sometimes. And flight is so much easier in a dream when his lungs are more thought than disease.

So he travels and rests far away from the worries of his Duty ( _or perhaps immersed in his Role it’s hard to say_ )

Occasionally he meets himself. The kingdom of dreams is his after all, and it does not hold the same borders as other lands do.

They have to stay away from each other, of course. Touching could have… adverse consequences, especially in this realm, where reality and existence are so malleable.

He shudders at the thought. _Joker_. The clown and the warden. Trapped infinitely in time, the replaceable eternal mirrors. Feared completely and loved fleetingly, the only Roleholder Nightmare could honestly say is more hated by the Faceless than he is.

Joker, he thinks.

But Nightmare is the Caterpillar, and the Caterpillar is not an Administrative Role. _~~Joker would like to disagree~~_ ~~.~~ Which makes it a good thing that Nightmare doesn’t particularly care about the clown’s opinions.

He could be like that, one existence through all worlds. But really, he’d rather not.

It’s better to be separate, individual ( _as much as wonderland itself permits of course_ ). A child’s time here, an adolescent time there. A thousand different faces and all of them the same.

He prefers being adult, honestly, but he does remember ( _or is it only reflected through the worlds?_ ) the feeling of Gray’s early affection. How a child’s face had helped tame an assassin. Of course he doesn’t miss the constant coddling ( _is that the truth?_ ), but the thawing warmth of Gray’s thoughts was… something. ( _something different and yet not- something that keeps happening and yet only happened to him once_ )

Better to be separate, each to live his own time and find his own small joys in the neverending _wonderful_ wonder world.

When the alternative is forgetting what you wanted to begin with

There’s really no choice at all.

 


End file.
